Chasing Authenticity

Searching, searching..

Today, I found myself reflecting on my own lack of authenticity. I think many people believe they are living as their most authentic selves, but speaking for myself, I’ve realized that I’ve often compromised my authenticity in exchange for community and acceptance—at the cost of true accountability.

Lately, I’ve noticed myself filtering my words, editing my thoughts, and overanalyzing whether my actions will be accepted by others, as if seeking approval in place of something more meaningful. It’s not always a conscious realization in the moment; it tends to surface in quieter reflections, especially in conversations with God about my goals and desires. And then the question arises—what am I sacrificing for this? And why?

I can think of a handful of people who exude an effortless, almost enviable authenticity. Which in all honestly leaves me almost envious. To be able to live in your truth in that way is so, freeing. A true aspiration of mine for sure. There’s something about it that you can just feel, and in my experience, it’s incredibly rare. We often say we value authenticity, yet we live in a society that thrives on conformity—whether in the workplace, social settings, or even in understanding unspoken social rules. The irony is that while we claim to celebrate individuality, true authenticity is often the hardest thing for people to embrace in others.

Today, I realized that I have yet to become my most authentic self—but it’s something I’m actively working toward. The process is difficult, uncomfortable, and at times feels almost like an act of rebellion. In many ways, it’s a revolution against the version of myself I once believed I was. Stepping into authenticity means getting to know this new version of me—the one who is trying to break free from the routines and patterns I’ve followed for 25 years. It’s a conscious choice I have to make every single day, and that choice is both liberating and terrifying.

Maybe authenticity isn’t something we simply are, but something we must continuously choose—an ongoing process of unlearning, relearning, and redefining who we are beyond the expectations we’ve internalized. It’s not a destination but a daily act of courage, a willingness to stand in the discomfort of transformation. And perhaps the scariest part isn’t just breaking free from the familiar, but realizing that who we are becoming has always been there, waiting for us to choose them.